The Pilot

Thanks to those of you who have said nice things to me regarding my acting. Shooting it wasnt actually as much fun as I expected it to be - the people who do this sort of thing for real certainly have a unique talent, its really hard work. For our parody, the director Paul would give me a word, e.g. holistic, or a direction, like telling the director/vision mixer (I dont know how they crew these things) that were going to change camera, and then I would just have to make up the words as we went along. I think Ill try and stay off screen in the future, and leave the idea of a web series based on the character in a locked drawer. Speaking of web series, the internet is now being used to pilot ideas cheaply, and its worth looking into if youve got ideas that you can shoot yourself. Before many television drama and comedy series are commissioned, a pilot will be shot and often broadcast in order to gauge if the series will work, and if it has an audience. Its quite a different process in the UK compared with the USA, where Pilot Season is an annual event - this article is old, but it explains how it works over there. Now though, shooting digitally and broadcasting online, a low-budget web series is a great way to pilot an idea off your own back. An example is Svengali, written by Dean Cavanagh and starring Welsh actor Jonathan Lewis Owen. Have a look at the episodes - the format is very simple and easily shot on a microbudget. The writing and the perfomances have to sell the idea - theres no production value (aside from celebrity cameos) to hide behind here. If youre interested in what makes a good pilot, its worth starting by looking at the script. Thanks to a link found on John Augusts blog (coincidentally, check out Johns web series pilot The Remants), you can find a huge library of scripts for US pilots (some successful, and some not) by clicking here. Theres pilots for The Wire, Alias, and also the Heroes pilot, directed by David Semel. Derek is definitely not going to end up in a pilot. Honest.

First-Time Home Buyers

Green Style from Down to Earth Designvia RenestRead Real Estate News updated daily.Visit our website @ www.flhotproperties.com On the left sidebar, find links to useful local and industry sites.Find out what's happening in real estate!The "first-time" $8,000 Home Buyer Tax Credit is an exciting program, although crystal ball-gazers are divided as to the extent of its potential for igniting the housing market. At a glance: The tax credit is for first-time home buyers* only.The tax credit does not have to be repaid.The tax credit is equal to 10 percent of the home’s purchase price up to a maximum of $8,000.The credit is available for homes purchased on or after January 1, 2009 and before December 1, 2009.Single taxpayers with incomes up to $75,000 and married couples with incomes up to $150,000 qualify for the full tax credit.*The law defines "first-time home buyer" as a buyer who has not owned a principal residence during the three-year period prior to the purchase...If you have not owned a home in the past three years but your spouse has owned a principal residence, neither you nor your spouse qualifies for the first-time home buyer tax credit.However, unmarried joint purchasers may allocate the credit amount to any buyer who qualifies as a first-time buyer, such as may occur if a parent jointly purchases a home with a son or daughter.Ownership of a vacation home or rental property not used as a principal residence does not disqualify a buyer as a first-time home buyer.FAQ and Other Provisions

25 random things

I've seen this thing on Facebook about "25 random things about me."Nobody has tagged me, yet, because I have very few friends on Facebook. And I like it that way.However, I think it would be a good exercise for my own good self to come up with 25 random things about me, and put them here, on my blog, so perhaps I can attract some more comments like those last several spammers. Spammers, love ya! Keep coming back!So here are 25 (newly thought-up) random things about me:1. I got a major scald burn when I was 18 months old that put me in hospital for six weeks. I still have the scar on my left boob.2. 10 years ago, that left boob started sprouting strings of gauze. It was from the gauze bandages they put on my burn after my parents ripped off my synthetic shirt, and all my skin, after said scald burn. Of course I thought I had string cancer and ran in a panic to the doctor, who examined said string under microscope and told me: "it's gauze". Funny. I wanted to be in a medical journal because my boob was sprouting string. But my doctor just told me to get regular mammograms. How boring!3. I have an outrageous fear of the dentist. So outrageous I will probably die of a brain infection caused by abcessed teeth. Yet dentists, those barbarians, still refuse to make me unconscious before they stick their disgusting hands in my mouth and breath into my personal space with their intolerable closeness and make me gag on my spit. I would rather die, I tell you.4. I hate having my personal space invaded. And I don't like being touched. At all. To the point that I will suffer in pain before I will undergo a paid-for massage performed by a health care professional. How dysfunctional is that?5. I love dogs. Especially my dogs. Even though they are largely useless and perform no function except eat, sleep, pee, poop, and adore me.6. I would die for my son. Yet, I am mad at him 50 per cent of the time. But you cannot be mad at him, ever, or else I will rip your eyes out.7. I enjoy a nice salad with Catalina dressing and cheese.8. I have had 12 surgeries. Mostly for stupid stuff, but several of them were for interesting reasons.9. I am very interested in the Titanic, for some reason, and have read every book about it.10. I can, and often do, read a book in a day.11. I have an obsessive personality.12. I love The Globe and Mail Book Review on a Saturday. Even if I haven't read the book. The Saturday Globe, in fact, is one of my very favorite things, behind Coronation Street. I also enjoy Gawker dot com.13. My math skills are so poor I had to ask someone yesterday "what's six times seven?". I blame this on bad math teachers.14. When I was a kid I was considered academically exceptional, and put in advanced classes where we did nothing but go on interesting field trips and got read that book about The Lord of The Rings. I forget the name of the book but it sure beat Grade Five math class.15. My sense of humor can sometimes be offensive, but not to me. If you get me, you get me.16. I have a love/hate relationship with my family. I am proud of their incredible talents, of which they have many. And sad about their incredible social inadequacies, of which I share. Yet there is something in them that is me, and in me that is them. I can hate them, but you can't.17. I am emotionally sensitive.18. Boiled pigs feet is one of my favourite dinners.19. I used to think my boobs were my best physical feature, despite the scar and the string hanging out of it. As I get older, I think my best feature are the slanty eyes that I always hated during my younger days. Now, I think that slanty smile makes me look younger, almost childlike. Despite the wrinkles. I like that.20. I have always hated my hair. Hated it. But liked my freckles.21. I was in the PEI legislature the day it was bombed. It scared the shit out of me. I ran as fast as I could. I was standing right in front of a window that imploded, and I thought someone was shooting at us through the windows. Later, I felt I was very cowardly for being so scared and getting the hell out of there so quick and not being brave and helping the little old ladies out. Who knew the self-preservation instinct was so strong?22. I believe in God. And heaven.23. Not one day goes by that I don't think of my late mother, and miss her. I have her purse hanging on my wall. I have changed nothing in it. When you open it, you are in my mother's purse, circa February 28, 1995. With her wallet, her pictures, her drivers licence, her checkbook, her make-up, her reciepts. Everything. I will never change it.24. I have the gown that I, and my whole family, was baptized in hanging on my wall, in a frame. I will take it out of the frame and pass it over to my son, when he has a child who possibly needs baptizing.25. My son's dad built me a hopechest 25 years ago, when were dating. He was a carpenter. I had it in my living room. I loved it. When he died last week, my son asked if he could have it. At first I didn't want to give it up. He made it for me, I thought. But then I thought: what would my son's Dad want? My son picked it up last Friday. He broke into my house to get it, after I told him he could have it, but breaking into a house? That's why I'm currently mad at him. But you can't be.That's it. 25 random things.

Shopping Centres: The case for and against.

He says: Shopping Centres are great places.She says: Shopping strips give me what I want.Let the discussion begin!* I can't believe the reader turn out, considering it hasn't even been advertised.People prepared to rot while waiting for the first post.She says: I'm amending my position to:"Shopping centres! Woah! What are they good for? Absolutely NOTHING!" or "I really don't like shopping centres."Let me prepare my case, but in the meantime, here's a little baited hook. The main reason I don't like shopping centres is because I don't like the types of people who hang out there. Sure, I like to watch Kath and Kim as much as the next person (although, yawn, a little old now, n'est-ce pas?) but the people. Oh, my lord, the people. And they look like they think there are in the Best Place in the World. It's like, I can die now. I am at Southland. All is well in my world. I will go to Southland if I have to, ie to get my Chanel foundation at David Jones, but it's in and it's out. No loitering at the pretzel stand, no leisurely browsing of shops. IN AND OUT.He says: The appeal of the shopping centre is the convenience. One stop shopping is only part of the experience. We used to head indoors during the hot months, not to purchase anything, but to gather, chat, sip Caffe Latte and watch the passing parade of shoppers. Getting compliments from passing grannies for your baby daughter's wonderfully curly hair, others coochy cooing our baby son.The shopping centre is not only a commercial palace, it's a meeting place. It's a study in human behaviour. Different centres have different characteristics. Highpoint has a different socio-economic feel to Doncaster. Chaddy and Eastland are poles apart. The crowds are different and the sounds are different. I like stopping and watching and seeing what people are doing, what are they buying, what they are wearing. Where else can you go to find a mish mash of humanity?On the shopping front, the fact that I can find pretty much everything I need in one location is a great thing. I know exactly when these stores are open, there is no pot luck in driving long distances to a shopping strip on a saturday and finding everything is closed at 12pm.Gotta go now. Lost my train of thought....She says: I don't need the validation of others to confirm for me how ace my child is. I don't want grannies from GOD KNOWS WHERE pawing my princess. You want respite from the heat? Go swim in a pool. You want mish mash of humanity, go to Victoria Market, or Footscray Market for that matter. Much mish mash at those spots.Shopping centres are soul-less, soul-less places. Much like casinos, they have no natural light so you can spend hours without realising the time. That's what they want you to do. Stay longer, spend more money, sit on a bench with a pretzel and die there. Move in, everything you need is there. Shelter, food, clothing. But no food for the soul.I grew up with Chadstone as my local shopping centre. Now that it's the "fashion capital of the southern hemisphere," and despite the fact that it doesn't have Katie Fisher as its face, Chaddy would be my pick of shopping centres if I had to pick one in Melbourne. Sure, I go there sometimes. Sure, I get excited by the fashion and shoes. And yes, I can get my Chanel products there too. But even so, I would rather go to the local shopping strip and have a mini-chat to the g'day mate butcher who once gave me a couple of extra lamb chops for free, to the really nice Italian lady at my green grocer's who smiles at me and tells me to have a nice day, and quake in fear in front of the severely-made-up eastern European women who man the counter at the deli. Their eyebrows are seriously scary.But back to the mish-mash. To me, shopping centres have no mish-mash. It's all mish-mish. Everyone is the same. Cloned teenagers [well, they are aren't they, wherever you find them] cloned mothers with prams, cloned men, and dull shop assistants. Their life blood is being sucked out of them, by being in those places. You can see it in their faces, they're dying.But you know I'm glad they're there. Because that means they're not where I am. Most of the time.He says: The last time I looked up at the many and varied shopping centres I've frequented, the roof was made of glass, natural light pours through.The shops are there to tempt you much the same as any shop in any street or market stall. Every shop is after your money, therefore, just because they are located in the one building doesn't make them soul less.As for the people in them, I've never had a issue with them. Security patrols the walkways, giving rowdy teens the evil eye and they back away quietly. No such security in the streets. Bag snatchers and pick pockets prowl the markets waiting for a slip up and the bam, your wallets gone.Another great thing about the indoor space is the lack of pollutants. One of my pet hates is sitting at an outdoor cafe trying to suck in some fresh air, but all you get is a lung full of someone's Holiday 40's full tar, or the diesel exhaust from that mack truck that just crawled up the narrow street.PS: I checked out Knox today, the Thomas Train is gone. Sorry I'm not craig.She says: Hm, I'm not sure where to go with this. About the light, though, the sunlight you say is streaming into shopping centres, I just don't know about that. Yes, if I looked up, there might be glass, or an opaquey plastic, way way up in the heavens. But it doesn't feel like it, you can't get the breeze and the sun on your skin. And the souless-ness of shopping centres, there's no character, all the boxes next to each other. It makes sense for me to say I'm a classic type of house-admirer, rather than modern, I like character, history, age. I don't really like things that are overly sanitised. Which can be the feel of shopping centres. Some are grimy and feel dirty though, the less salubrious ones which we won't mention here.I've never had a problem with the people either; the 16 year olds with prams don't even see you, as they make beelines for the diva store. This is not at Southland; this is at an unnamed shopping centre beginning with F and ending in Stone. But oddly, I don't think I've ever seen the security guards to which you refer? Curious. I've never had my bag snatched or wallet stolen at any market or street shopping strip in Australia. But to be fair, never either in a shopping centre. Or on a tram. Or in a restaurant or pub.Finally, you're right about the lack of pollutants. It can be very annoying being outside and being assaulted by all manner of irritants. But ultimately, I find the amount of irritants in shopping centres outweigh those I find at street shopping strips or markets.

Ma Worships

The CNA had a report which AFAIK failed to make the English papers this week, but is nevertheless a crucial indicator of the way that the KMT is attempting to reshape Taiwan so it is "Chinese". On Friday Ma Ying-jeou, President of the Republic of China, hosted a ceremony honoring the Yellow Emperor, the mythical ancestor of the Chinese, just as Amaterasu Omikami is the mythical ancestor of the Japanese imperial house, at Yuanshan in Taipei.The report notes that this was the first time ever that any ROC President here in Taiwan had hosted this ceremony, which had hitherto been the responsibility of the Interior Minister. The KMT had never been comfortable with the feudalistic overtones of the ceremony, noted the friend who alerted me to this tale, and had thus delegated it to a lesser official. Presidential Office spokesman Wang Yu-chi said that the Yellow Emperor is the common ancestor of all the Chinese people. In order to commemorate the Yellow Emperor, Tomb Sweeping Day will be designated Tomb Sweeping Day." Based on the importance of "being thorough in the funeral rites and worship of the ancestors" to the Chinese (race/nation) ,President decided to personally lead the ceremony, showing the emphasis the government places on culturally relevant traditions.Readers conversant in Chinese can see how difficult it is to translate "民族 Tomb Sweeping Day." It comes out sounding truly bizarre: Race Tomb Sweeping Day? Ethnic Tomb Sweeping Day? Obviously the "race/ethnicity" meant here is Chinese.There's a rich vein to mine here. It starts with the construction of everyone on both sides of the Taiwan Strait being "Chinese", comments that have been in the news lately with the Buddhist Master Hsing Yun, but which, since Ma's election, date back to his May 2oth inaugural address (readers are encouraged to re-read the analysis I posted against this report on Ma's sacrifices to the Yellow Emperor). In my discussion of the speech, which uses the term 中華民族, I noted:Two other translation points to make: the English text says "our common Chinese heritage" but the Chinese is explicit -- the people on the two sides of the Strait both belong to the Chinese race" (兩岸人民同屬中華民族).The second translation issue is even more interesting. Entirely dropped from the English text is the very next sentence, which says 中華民族智慧之高 which translates "the great intelligence/wisdom" of the Chinese race." As I noted, Ma's thinking treads the well-worn path of Han chauvinism in which other ethnicities are arranged in order below the dominant and wisely benevolent Han. The DPP, by contrast, offered "proto-state to state" and "partnership" with all the original peoples.The DPP also had a completely different idea of how to define citizenship, one not based on belonging to a specific ethnicity/race, but on being a citizen of a Taiwan nation. Racial chauvinism, demonstrated in Ma's personal honoring of the Yellow Emperor with its Yasukuni-like implications, is a powerful component of Ma's thinking, and his fostering of a retrograde Han chauvinism/superiority is an important affirmation of the remarks of people like Hsing Yun or GIO master blogger Kuo Kuan-ying. Indeed Ma criticized Kuo's comments by saying that everyone was a Son of the Yellow Emperor, affirming the Han Chauvinism that drove them even as he distanced himself from that chauvinism's more odious expressions. In terms of creating a civil society with a Taiwan identity at its heart, this is a step backwards.After Ma made that statement in his inaugural address, an aboriginal legislator stormed out of the audience and convened a press conference on the spot to denounce it. Not everyone in Taiwan is a Son of the Yellow Emperor.Second, this construction of everyone on both sides of the Strait as being Chinese is obviously and intentionally a colonialist one. If you have ever had the (mis)fortune to argue with a Chinese nationalist, they will blithely inform you that Tibetans, Manchus, Mongolians, etc, are all Chinese. Indeed, the claim that "X is Chinese" should be taken as a presumptive declaration that X is about to have their territory incorporated into China. In this light, there was something deeply symbolic about the revelation that the "ethnic" performers at the Beijing Olympics were all actually Han.Ma's treatment of Chinese symbols shows his ideological identification with them. Recall this event from October of 2008?The Taipei Confucian Temple marked the 2,558th anniversary of the birth of Confucius yesterday amid criticism from some city councilors that the temple performed the bayi dance — traditionally performed to pay homage to an emperor — to “fawn” over the presence of President Ma Ying-jeou .At that ceremony Ma strode through the Central Door of the Temple , which only emperors are supposed to use.I said then, it was only going to get worse.

Kinkiest Kouple

We kick off my version of March Madness, the National Kinkiest Komics Karacter Kontest, with the equivalent of a first round 1-seed/16-seed match-up. But while there is a clear favorite, don't discount the scrappy upstarts who are just happy to get a chance in the spotlight.Arlo and JanisArlo and JanisThis category really should be called the Arlo Award but CIDU Bill beat me to that gimmick. No strip more consistently sneaks the double (or single) entendres past the censors. These frisky minxes have a healthy active sex life, but does it rise to the level of kinky? Who hasn't occasionally lost the handcuff keys? Anyone?Ted and Sally ForthSally ForthMuch like how Will and Grace is now seen as no big deal, some day this strip will be marked as a milestone in the acceptance of transgendered couples. The brilliantly subversive idea to pair both a MtF and a FtM transsexual as loving, devoted parents has gone a long way to promote tolerance and understanding.Wanda and Darryl MacPhersonBaby BluesWanda and Darryl are so frisky that they can't even to make it to the bedroom and instead make-out on the couch to the disbelief of their lightly sleeping spawn. That is matrimonial lust at its most neurosis forming. Let's hope those kids have good therapists. As proof of their fecundity, unlike many comic characters, the MacPhersons have had two kids since the comic started. That's tough to do with all those readers always watching.Hi and Lois FlagstonHi And LoisOften mocked as the archetype of bland boring suburban based strips, this comic is best read as subtext. Beneath this vignette of stale ennui is a seething 9-1/2 Weeks style food fetish scene about to play out. Behind the white picket facade, the Flagstons are flying their freak flag with key swaps, erotic toy parties, and basement bondage dungeons.Pete and PeggyDaddy's HomeWhile not as famous as the other entrants, this strip about a stay-at-home dad and his corporate wife has a level of smirking not found elsewhere. In case you are unfamiliar with the strip, I offer a couple of sample full strips. If those two aren't getting the most action on the funny pages, I don't know who is.We had some great write-in candidates. I purposely left out the soap couples to keep the playing field level. The Mitchells just missed the bubble, but they could have been contenders if there were any real evidence they have been using the Wilson's as babysitters while they run their couples sex surrogate therapy sessions. Juliet Burber and Elliot didn't make the cut because Elliot just isn't an equal partner, but don't worry, we'll see plenty of the Burber ladies later in the tournament.Out of tradition (and laziness) I've kept the same polling software as in other years, which lags terribly. Your vote is being counted, just not very quickly. So go ahead and vote and lets hope for a Cinderella upset.

Girl Power

Why yes, that is the lovely Jenny Lewis :)This week's playlist are songs from all my favorite female singer songwriters (I couldn't just pick 10): 1. I’m Good, I’m Gone – Lykke Li2. Everyone’s At It – Lily Allen3. Barking At the Moon – Jenny Lewis4. Extraordinary Machine – Fiona Apple5. My Same - Adele6. Love Is A Losing Game – Amy Winehouse7. Maybe Not – Cat Power8. Mouthwash – Kate Nash9. Delayed Devotion - Duffy10. The Limit to Your Love - Feist11. You and I – Ingrid Michaelson12. Tap At My Window – Laura Marling13. On My Mind – Leona Naess14. Boys – M.I.A.15. Thinking About You – Norah Jones16. Buttons - Sia17. Ode To Divorce – Regina Spector